I am a testosterone driven, single pack, bearded young man full of masculinity. However, every once in a while, I tend to imagine what life will be like if I were a girl, what I will do differently.
Ermm am not confused about my “brokos” or which washroom to go to oo, I don’t wear female undergarment and pretend I am Cinderella oo, but really, what if the testosterone were oestrogen? and my flat hairy chest were smooth with two jutting boobies the guys keep staring at? what will change?
If I were a girl I will dress like a responsible lady. Seriously I can’t imagine dressing in some of the clothes I see young girls wearing of late, clothes that leave nothing to imagination and that puts all their hitherto private and confidential goods on free for all display. As much as I appreciate we don’t have a dress code, and the freedom to dress the way you feel right, and as much as I know the feminists will have a word for me, I will very much speak about dressing that leaves more to be desired and that makes you wonder what some of the daughters of Holy Mary have become.
I am very much aware that the world has not been very fair to ladies, particularly the employment world. Some horny pot bellied employers will definitely look behind that skirt before you get your swivel chair as a lady. But if I were a girl I will stand up against that kind of exploitation and disabuse my mind of the notion that ladies cannot get anything unless they offer sex. Sex is not a commodity, if some of you ladies were not selling, irresponsible men will know the thing is out of supply. A lady friend, who by the way has a mouthwatering job, once told me it’s nice being a lady, cos you’ll most likely get the job many men are after once you do the “right” thing. I stopped considering her a friend. If I were a girl I wouldn’t think like that, that’s a slave mentality.
If I were a girl I will definitely put on less make up, because I want my grand parents to be able to recognize me. I wouldn’t want the same man to mistakingly date me twice thinking we are different ladies. I will not have a need to hide a birthmark, the spot of a freckle, an annoying acne or just the normal contour of my face, I am not sure I want to be married to “The mask” throughout my life.
Make up is a complicated art tho…and I tip my hat to ladies who know their colour combinations to achieve different shades on their brightly coloured faces. Painters travel to Azar Paints headquarters, choose a colour and pay for it to be mixed for them, ladies expertly mix 15 colours in their bedroom to uniformly paint their faces…you deserve an honorable mention.
In the second episode of “If I were a girl” I will tell you what I will do differently in a relationship.
