Folks, before I start my commentary on the long awaited presidential race, I would like to give a brief historical background of the Olympic Games. The first ancient Olympic Games can be traced back to 776 BC.
The games were dedicated to the Olympian gods, and were closely linked to the religious festivals of the cult of Zeus. Unlike today where Olympic winners are given a high carat gold medal, ancient Olympic victors were given palm branches as their prizes.
The 100 m race is the most exciting event in the Olympic Games, and the champion of the men’s race is often referred to as “the fastest man in the world.” Usain Bolt and Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce are the reigning world and Olympic champions in the men’s and women’s 100 metres, respectively. Now, fasten your seat-belts for a takeoff.
Ladies and gentlemen, the moment is here! The long awaited final of the Olympic Presidential 100 metres is about to commence. Line up: lane one – Paa Kwesi, lane two – Magic Mahama, lane three Odikey, lane four – Nana, lane six – Tundralina Akua Donkor, lane seven – Samia.
One of the contestants is well advanced in age and I’m sure people would be wondering what he is doing in such a race. Chai, some old men do not “check” themselves at all. Few months ago, a Japanese, Hidekichi Miyazaki, one day after turning 105, set a new record as the world’s oldest competitive sprinter. Hehehehe, he clocked a time of 42.22. Miyazaki is known as the “Golden Bolt” for imitating Olympic gold medallist Usain Bolt’s pose.
The track judges, timekeepers and race starters are getting ready. All is now set for the historic race. On your marks, get set, poo. Oh, a second gun has been fired indicating that something has gone wrong. I could see the track judges warning Nana for a false start.
The athletes return for a fresh start, and there they go. 50 metres have been covered, and the old men are being separated from the energetic young ones, and those with short legs are at a disadvantage. OMG something interesting is happening, Paa Kwesi is shaking his head; he is retracting – oh what is going on? Hahahaha can this be a mustache pull?
Kikikikikiki, there is another casualty! He is limping, there is a muscle pull, I think; oh, Golden Bolt Nana is on the Titan track, omunimuni, Nana munimuni, an ambulance is needed. What a misfortune? “Na enso Eben,” what is an old man doing in such a titanic race?
It’s a few metres to the finish-line. I can see Magic Mahama inching closer. Oh my God, he crosses the finish-line in a terrific speed. A record has been broken! He has become the first President under the democratic dispensation to be offered eight and half years in office. JM shoots his index fingers in the air in a Usain Bolt style to signal to spectators that it was a one-touch victory. Laa ilaaha illallah. What a race!
