So the two of you have been friends for a long time and you like each other very much. The fun is real and everything is perfect. Then you notice you are both surprisingly single and wonder why you can’t just go out with this amazing friend of the opposite sex.
It’s exciting as you think things will continue being so great. Then suddenly things turn on their head. You start arguing, getting angry, hating each other, holding grudges, quarrelling over the things that made you laugh in the past. You realize friendship was much more fun, you’ve lost your friend, and now romancing a stranger, possibly a stone cold enemy. What could be the cause?..
It’s simple really. Every new relationship assigns new roles and confers new statuses. That cute female friend is now a girlfriend for real, and that crazy guy friend of yours is now a boyfriend. That is a new ball game all together. Things that didn’t arouse jealousy in the past will be met with jealousy; levels don change. Things that were at a point funny may no longer be funny because of the new roles and functions. Relationships that you had with others which you used to dissect with this partner and laugh over will all be replayed with a fine toothed comb, and all your sordid acts which earned you the amusing “crazy” title in the past will all be reviewed unconsciously and thou shall be judged accordingly.
New adjustments of time and energy in the relationship are necessary but are ignored since you think you know each other so well, and the mistake of acting as if your boyfriend or girlfriend is still “just a friend” makes the relationship awkward. The sweet things you do for a girlfriend or boyfriend may be conspicuously missing cos this one is your own home boy or girl, it doesn’t work like that. And oo yes, it’s more difficult than you think to suddenly switch on the girlfriend bulb for your close male pal of over 10 years. The best you can do is sleep with him, you’ll soon see sex does very little in making relationships successful unless that’s all the two of you live and die for. You simply don’t know how to become the lover of your bestie after 15 years of thrilling friendship.
It is advisable you are always cognisant of the change in dynamics and adjust appropriately in order not to mess up a beautiful relationship. Sometimes its even best to just let your decade old bestie of the opposite sex remain as such, a bestie. That’s perhaps how it gotta be, and you two will continue being great on the friend level. My opinion, based on studies and perhaps experience…who cares?
